Barcelona

Barcelona: where the winds all blew
The churches don't have windows
But the graveyards do
Me and my shadow are wrestling again
Look out stranger, there's a dark cloud moving in

But if you could hear
The voice in my heart
It would tell you
I'm too far from home
Won't somebody please
Hold me release me show me
The meaning of mercy
Let me loose

Fly...
Let me fly
Let me fly

Super paranoid
I'm blending I'm blurring, I am bleeding
Into the scenery
Loving someone else is always so much easier
I hold nyself hostage in the mirror

If you could hear the voice in my heart
It would tell you
I'm afraid I'm alone
Won't somebody please
Hold me, release me, show me
The meaning of mercy
Let me loose

Fly...
Let me fly

And I won't be held down
No, I won't be held back
I will lead with my faith

The red light is following me
But don't worry mother
It's no longer my gravity
Won't somebody please
Hold me, release me, show me
The meaning of mercy
Let me loose

Fly...
Let me fly
Let me fly
Let me fly

Nighmares

Why do we have nightmares?

They can make you feel extremely scared and frightened.

Characterized by vivid imagery and extreme feelings such as anxiety, fear, sadness or guilt they are powerful enough to wake you up.

In adults, about 50% report experiencing nightmares occasionally and of these, they occur more often in women than men.

There are certain factors that contribute to frightening dreams occurring in adults:

Stress and anxiety in adults is the main reason that causes bad dreams. If there are some stressful events or huge changes in your life this can definitely lead to frightening dreams.

Traumatic events such as deaths, serious injuries or being attacked can bring on a severe form called Post Traumatic Nightmares and these are more severe than regular bad dreams and are usually recurring dreams. Treatment can be sought for these forms of dreams as they are usually more disturbing and persistent in nature.

For me personally, I often have bad dreams with a re-occurring theme. I have been dealing with this for around 5 years now. The dreams become so real that I often have dreams about these bad dreams.

Do you ever dream in your sleep about trying to wake up from a bad dream? At least once a week, I have the same dream in which I am lying in bed and attempting to wake up from one of these re-occuring dreams. I will go as far as pinching my arms and holding my breath in these dreams to try to see if I am actually awake. The dream seems to exist in layers. Over and over again (often as many as 25ish times) I will try to wake myself up, walk around, even pinch myself or hold my breath to try to realize actual life again. When I finally do wake up, I am usually sweating, and my arms and chest hurt from these attempts. The weird part is that I can remember everything that I tried in order to wake myself up, so it almost feels like I have just pulled back the very bottom layer to unearth myself from these attempts.

I will have these waking up dreams right after my normal re-occuring nightmares. These nightmares are so real that I will often wake up and function for the first few hours of the day believing that the dream happened yesterday and I am experiencing my first day in post-nightmare theme mode. When I finally realize that I had been dreaming, I often experience anxiety or extreme depression.

This happens a lot. More often than I would like to admit.

I grow tired of being angry at people in my life for things my brain makes up. I grow tired of trying to throw myself out of sleep just to escape these stupid dreams. Because I mentally cannot escape sleep at night, I cannot escape the dreams. I have tried listening to positive hypnotherapy and thinking positive thoughts as I drift off.

Sometimes my husband asks me why I wake up 2, 3 or 4 hours before I have to get ready for the day. I tell him it's because I need enough time to wake up. But the truth is, the longer I sleep, the more upsetting the dreams become. Sometimes, if I wake up before my brain has a chance to finish these dreams, I can avoid the "trying to wake up" dreams.

Does anyone have any suggestions or has anyone ever experienced these types of dreams?

There is only one simple verbal quote that I was once told. I do not like the person who told me this quote, and we don't get along. I believe their only useful contribution to my entire life would be this one quote.

"We experience these dreams so we can appreciate the fact that life is not really like that for us. When we wake up, we can see that life is not really that bad, and that everything is really ok."

This quote has helped me move forward so many times. I have to keep telling myself this nearly every day after one of these dreams. It is helpful, but it is only a temporary salve until the next dream comes and stops me dead in my sleep.